New Song Roasts Elon Musk

 

Nobody Voted for Elon by FPChef

How much America?

How much does it cost to buy America?

How much did Elon spend?

How much does DOGE cost?

Not the coin but the men.

Annoying Orange Raging in the Sun

Orange raging in the open air,

sun shining on long grayed hair,

turning to present a bill of fair,

lies again saving the billionaire.

 

Bowing Out

Saved the economy,

vaccinated the population,

governed for everyone,

peacefully stepped aside.

Space Harem

Grooming the next generation of engineers,

grooming the next generation of trillionaires,

populating Mars, 

Texas, 

employees.

Ageism is A-Okay

Term limits cannot pass,

The companies protect their influence,

Millions of dollars spent on their tools,

When is a man too old to use?

34

You've been telling me you're a genius since you were seventeen

In all the time I've known you I still don't know what you mean

The weekend at the college didn't turn out like you planned

The things that pass for knowledge I can't understand

Apologies to Steely Dan

Trump's Bible Sale Circus

Donald Trump is selling Bibles to pay for his court losses. Now, if that isn't a scene straight out of a twisted comedy sketch, I don't know what is. But let's break it down, shall we?

First off, let's talk about the man himself. Donald Trump, the self-proclaimed business tycoon turned reality TV star turned President turned... Bible salesman? It's like watching a train wreck in slow motion, except this train is hauling a cargo of ego and delusion larger than the Grand Canyon.

Now, selling Bibles to pay off court losses? That's a whole new level of absurdity. It's like trying to put out a wildfire with a squirt gun. It's like trying to plug a leaky dam with a handful of chewing gum. It's like... well, you get the idea.

But here's the kicker: Donald Trump, the guy who famously couldn't name a single Bible verse when asked, is now hawking the Good Book like a snake oil salesman at a carnival. It's enough to make you wonder if irony has taken early retirement.

And let's not forget. this is the man who has spent his entire life flaunting wealth, power, and materialism and he suddenly finds himself in need of a cash infusion to cover his legal woes. And what's his solution? Sell Bibles, of course! It's like a bad sitcom plot written by someone who's had a little too much to drink.

But hey, let's give credit where credit is due. Trump knows his audience. He knows there's a certain segment of the population that will eat this stuff up like candy on Halloween. So, he slaps his name on some Bibles, throws in a few flashy gold accents, and voila! Oh wait! Can't forget to paste the American flag on the cover! Instant cash flow.

But here's the real punchline: despite all the bluster and bravado, Trump's Bible sale circus is nothing more than a desperate attempt to cling to relevance in a world that's moved on without him. It's a sad, pathetic spectacle that would be laughable if it weren't so painfully absurd.

So, as we watch this latest chapter in the saga of Donald Trump unfold, let's remember to take it all with a grain of salt and a healthy dose of skepticism. After all, in a world as crazy as this one, sometimes the only thing you can do is sit back, grab some popcorn, and enjoy the show.

Trump's Tumultuous Tale: A Wild Ruling in New York

Once upon a time, in the bustling boroughs of New York, there lived a man whose name was known far and wide. His name was Trump, and he was a figure of great controversy and intrigue.

Now, Trump was not just any ordinary man. He was a businessman, with ventures as vast and sprawling as the city itself. But amidst the glittering towers and bustling streets, trouble was brewing for Trump.

You see, the wise folks of New York had been watching Trump's business dealings with keen eyes. They whispered tales of tax discrepancies and financial missteps, wondering if all was as it seemed.

And then, one fateful day, a ruling came down from on high. The courts of New York declared that Trump's business empire must be dissolved. It was a decision that sent shockwaves through the city, like a thunderclap in a quiet night.

But Trump was not one to go quietly into the night. Oh no, he roared and raged, declaring the ruling to be unjust and unfair. He vowed to fight tooth and nail to protect his beloved empire, for it was his pride and joy.

And so, the saga of Trump's business ruling in New York continued to unfold, like a tale from a storybook with twists and turns at every corner. Only time would tell what the final chapter would hold for the man known as Trump.

But for now, the streets of New York buzzed with speculation and anticipation, as the city braced itself for whatever may come next in this wild and wondrous tale.

cowboy lyrics

crackers whining cuz they ain't won the lottery

racists mad cause they ain't the boss o' me

aldean chirpin' bout his small town,

just another hood from another sun down.

 

cause they all want to rise again,

be in charge, feel like big men,

too dumb to read a book or blaze a trail,

they just watch murdock's news and mad as hell.

 

Don, Don, Document, Gone

Don, Don, the klansman's son,

stole a document and told everyone,

the doc he shared for friends to read,

but when indicted he cried and peed. 

The Educated and the Nail

The country was built on the backs of the enslaved.

Now the enslaved are free we claim their descendants do not suffer.

The native people were exterminated and banished from their homes.

Now that we give them bare land we claim they do not suffer.

The country prospered on the blood and sweat of the young, the poor.

Now that a basic wage is given we claim the poor do not suffer.

The corporations profit from low wages and a sick workforce.

Now because healthcare exists we claim the sick do not suffer.

Knowledge is power: the difference between the hammer and the nail.

The reason the cost of education is designed to break you.

 

Robot Politician

Robot man

with robot plans,

instructs his mindless automatons

to vote republican.

A town hall

no town at all,

virtual place in his compute space

hate is influential.

All his thoughts,

and all he thinks,

must all be jewels because he's rich,

so we tweet as he sinks.

Federally Interesting

Feds raising interest to fight supply chain issues,

feds raising interest to combat corporate gouging,

feds raising interest to protect the status quo,

feds raising interest because they just don't know.

Supremely Courted

Take the judge out on a date,

Take the judge out on a lake,

buying gifts to over-state,

Despite decisions to undertake.

Pay for the jurist's country club,

pay for shows and ticket stubs,

pay for house and cars and such,

decisions to come not un-sus,

No oversight - they think it's mean,

to second guess their high esteem,

to know what's right they guarantee,

all sacrosanct the nine believe.

F is for Florida

Times have changed,

Politicians are getting worse!

They won't address the truth,

They just hold press conferences and curse!

oh they blame the government

and woke society

and they blame the internet, tik tok and tv!

so, f*ck Florida!

f*ck Florida!

With DeSantis' beady eyes,

And flapping mouth so full of lies!

f*ck Florida!

f*ck Florida!

We need save the libraries!

before Florida closes them all!

Don't blame Ron,

he doesn't understand,

He saw a cartoon mouse,

And now he's recruiting for the Klan!

And DeSantis heard once,

that drag queens had some fun,

But now he outlaws dresses worn by anyone!

Well, f*ck Florida!!

f*ck Florida!!

It seems that everything's gone wrong,

Since Desantis came along!

f*ck Florida!

f*ck Florida!

Florida's not even a country anyway!

My son could have been a doctor or a lawyer, rich and true,

Instead he was shot up trapped inside a public school!

Should we blame the gun laws?

or the lack of policy?

Or the police who failed to respond to the emergency?

Heck no!

f*ck Florida!!

f*ck Florida!!

With all the woke hullabaloo,

And that orange Maga crew

f*ck Florida!

Shame on Florida

For...

The rage we must stop,

The trash they reelect,

The slaughter and guns,

republicans come undone,

They cry and cause a fuss,

And their hate rants are aimed at us!

All tuckered out

Lying liar that lied about lying,

wore out the welcome from the wrinkly oligarch,

was not the lies that befuddle the hatemonger,

was getting outed not supporting them. 

Dominated

What does the fox say?

Dominated

What does the oligarch say?

Dominated

What do the people say?

Indicated

Orange you glad I didn't say vindicated,

orange you glad the clown is implicated,

orange you glad criminal behavior indicated,

orange you glad he gets adjudicated,

don't cha bet he'll be incarcerated.

Silicone Capitalism

Techno dollars, plastic accounts,

Incubate silently, suddenly cashing out,

Planning a clandestine flight,

Overruled the oversight,

When Feds come knocking on the door,

bail out the billionaires on the backs of the poor.

* According to the Washington Examiner: Silicon Valley Bank CEO Greg Becker cashed out stock options in the weeks leading up to Friday's collapse, netting him a $2.27 million profit, public filings reveal. 

 ** According to Fortune, SVB CEO Greg Becker lobbied for the the relaxation of regulations on SVB and the regional banking system.

**According to Bloomberg, Paypal co-founder Peter Thiel's Founders Fund had no cash left in Silicon Valley Bank by the time the Feds took over the failing institution.